Tusk

 Salam.

The same book that I have read many years ago, when I re-read it again, it is either the takeaways are consistent, expanded or totally different. If you recall this analogy, a group of blind people touched different parts of an elephant, one described trunk while other described the leg and the rest described the tail, I totally can relate. 

I am that people with previous variable was mainly their position with regards to the elephant and mine was the timeline and wisdom I had while reading the same book. Hence the takeaway from the book could be consistent, expanded or totally different. Elephant is the book. 

Simple example is previously I would be very eager and excited to prove the point that I am confident is correct because I know it is in fact, correct and people need to know the truth. Fast forward to now, I can easily let go because I know that is ‘my truth’, and it does not really matter if people view it differently. 

I still need to work on my acceptance when people that I view is older than me addressed me as ‘Kak’ though. It still stings. 

Compounding Effect

 

Salam.

Hope everyone is well.

Have you come across the thought that are all the small habits, sacrifices, worth it? As an example, the exercise routine that you did thrice per week however there is no changes on the weigh scale. So you start to question yourself that probably you should have stop exercise altogether since there is no tangible and visible result. Although there were numerous research by experts mentioning the benefit of doing physical exercise, it is still not convincing enough to make us believe that it is worthwhile. 

This is the thing that I learned deeper at the moment. The power of compounding effect. 

It was triggered by this book ‘The Psychology of Money’ and he mentioned about the comparison between 2 investors that had done completely different method of investment. Investor A put a large sum of money in a high risk high return scheme, believing that his previous luck will stay and he will again, gain a lot from the investment. In contrary, investor B allocate fix small sum every month for investment, for longer tenure not really having high hope on the investment realizing the fact that it is after all, investment. 

Fast forward 20 years later, investor B enjoy his gain from the investment, living a stable life while investor A is still looking for ways to get his life stable, making ends meet. 

I am aspired to be like investor B. Anything ahead or more than the base case are totally bonus. For someone that is in dire need to learn how to be patient, I need to remind myself the significance and powerful impact of time, despite the slow pace. 

I believe consistency in saving money, fasting, doing phyical exercise, reading, reflecting, practising will eventually give us something, one fine day and I will be very grateful that I had started and consistent doing it. 

 

Crown

 Salam.

I used to feel insulted or embarrassed when someone is making fun of this specific look I have. However, after I was hospitalized for about 3 days, and having suffer the pain and discomfort from fallen sick prior, I guess look does not really matter, or better word, my obsession to have my look validated as 'okay' from others. The meaning of health is the crown that only sick people can see became more apparent at this juncture. 

I am obsess with loose outfit now, especially jeans. I fall in love with cutting of 'moms jeans' and can't wait to own more. Beside moms jeans, another favourite cutting  is 'boyfriend jeans’

Random thought, I would name my cafe as a’Long Press' cafe if I happen to own one.

Above are the write up I had in my draft, written on 3rd March and I am so happy it is here because I can’t sleep tonight, blame it on my coffee during breakfasting and overdo afternoon nap. 

I learned a new trick on dealing with life recently and I was planning to have it captured here as future reference. It did not happen yet because maybe I’ve been sleeping well until tonight. 

‘Read the room’ - is my new lesson learned. I experienced a few occasions that being nice is better than being right and that is very much related to how I read the room.  

Besides, if I happen to slip some words I would regret later on, I learned that mistakes are allowed and chances for remedial action is always there. Have the integrity to make amends and hopefully everyone will get a nice sleep that night. 

On way way important note, I climbed Mount Kinabalu on my birthday last February! Alhamdulilah managed to reach the summit in the morning and the view is so magnificent, splendid, scenic, no words would compare I guess.  It was a tough climb and I am humbled with the opportunity as I have been dreaming to hike Mount Kinabalu since I was in uni. If you ask me whether the climb was more challenging on either physical or mental, I would say both with 70% weigh on mental. 

Clinomania

 Salam. 

Happy new year! 

I am beyond excited entering new year since COVID outbreak seems to be under control, ergo my passport can see the sunlight again. 

Met my parent twice in January alone and I felt refreshed.  Back in my hometown means food party and I think I took eating part too far. I had diarrhea on the last day and to make matter worse, it was overlapping with my period pain, hence man (me) down. 

I think this is the most painful period cramps (dysmenorrhea) I had, like someone is pulling your uterus and never releasing it back, and that certain someone seems like holding grudges against you for quite some time, if it helps to picture the pain. (If you have no uterus, you probably can use colon as substitute for imagination purpose).

I can’t sleep for 2 nights because of the cramps and to intensify the whole situation, my diarrhea came with vomit package multiple times that night. I felt so helpless. If only I can detach my tummy and continue to sleep, unbothered. 

Next morning, I fainted. It was not uncommon for me to pass out while I was on my period because I am anemic (maybe because I am Thalasemia carrier), but this time I did not manage to position myself properly so I will not fall hard on my head. I fell with the back of my head on the floor and I was awake because of the throbbing pain. Due to that, I am experiencing vertigo now. I hope this vertigo will only be here for shortwhile because I need to practise for my Kinabalu climb in February. Insha Allah amin. 

I understand why some people are not okay with leave granted by employer for women with period pain, and I am sharing this to let people know for some women, period pain means fainting, fever, vertigo, dizziness, totally unfit for work. It was a big relief I did not fall flat on my face or else I probably need to do plastic surgery for my broken nose and major replacement for my teeth. 

Can’t wait to be back on my feet and enjoy outside world again.