Widen the Horizon

Salam.

I would like to share something I learned today. Hopefully what I managed to gather is neither misleading nor mislead.

Oftentimes, we would wonder why among too many people, we are the unfortunate one who had to face the hardship, why not others who we deemed can face the test better? And how to avoid feeling victimized everytime something we disfavor happened to us or  something we'd pray so hard from Allah, not yet granted. From Ustaz Pahrol, he mentioned that below are four common understanding we must acquire so that we won't feel worse every time being tested, but to feel and become better.

1. We are all Allah's slave

• All humanbeing is promised to be tested. 
• All humanbeing are the borrower, the true owner is the Almighty
• To reflect back if there are any that we'd done wrong or we should improve
• We are all being informed that this worldly life for human is full with test

2. Realize the Existence of God

• God is the one that we should pray to
• God is the one that we should put our hope to
• God is the one that we should trust to take care of our affair (provided with effort)

3. Understand the Fate

• For those who is poor, to be patient and work harder. Not that our effort is not good enough before, just that God see that we could do better
• For those who is wealthy, to be grateful. Being rich is for helping others and not to be fooled with greed 

4. Understand the Reason Behind (Hikmah)

• If we have sinned before, the test is to have our sins forgiven
• If it is not to forgive our previous sins, it is to increase on our pahala department and to lift our level (darjat) as a Muslim 

So please don't worry too much. Worrying  is negative imaginations. Don't dwell on the past, focus on the present, don't worry on the future. Change the way we see the 'test' from the Almighty and be positive.

Bye!

Rant on the Train

And he pointed his forefinger to the sky, answering his own question and satisfy his own curiousity. That was a relief as I was stutter while thinking my lines.

So understanding. Maybe a father to girls around my age that he is, made him comfortable to talk to. 

I am quite stagnant while everybody else is propulsively forward. But, I must remind myself everytime not to compare myself with others, so I take that back. Others are not really propulsively forward and I am not really far left behind. Subjective, unlike yes no or black white or one plus one is two and for no one to judge. 

But I must admit I am calmer, than before and previous years. I think that is the most important thing at my age so that I can focus on things, real things that really matter. And must not to be deceived by pain or hurts or frustration as that are all, blessing in disguise. 

Tidal

Salam.

To say that I am quite busy with life, busy is subjective. I decided to do something else to keep myself occupied, on top of worklife of course. I went hiking, my first time was at Bukit Tabur, not that I had the second time. Haha. Hiking was nothing close to piece of cake, easy peasy kind of physical activities.

Although walking was 70% of the event, but the part of climbing vertical hills was the real challenge. The only support we have was only from legs and hands, grabbing and stepping on the wall of stone.

I was not really a good story teller, Rin can tell you more.

I am okay with more hiking but of course I had that same feeling when I ride the roller coaster. My eyes were shut all the way from start to finish. Haha. Maybe I am just pure 'gayat',  to both height and speed.

Hopeful Event

Salam.

It was 11.30pm, and three of us all sat on a couch convenient for two at hotel lobby, did not bother to sit at another isolated, with hands intertwined, mother with brother and brother with mine.
Living separately with people most dear at your heart, you will learn that meet up for 30 minutes need to be suffice although you know it will never be enough. Green with envy, yes I am with those who do not need to depend on technology most of the time to hear the dear voices. For every time I see mother and father, I notice there is slight difference on their faces from previous meet up, and as of now, the differences accumulated and became obvious. In which means I need to spend more time with them.


***

In my wildest dream I dream to sing this song.



Bye!

Bundle of Joy

Salam. 

I am in the cab right now, no idea whether blogging while listening to Bollywood song will do any better, but lets have a try. This is second time I ride a cab to office instead of train since I am back from Korea and this is due to my friends Ina Karolina is toting an heavy luggage with her.

Safety, erm crap I can't write in this condition. Haha. But whatever it is, enjoy your Friday, count your blessings, try to do good deeds everyday and sebaik-baik manusia ialah manusia yang lebih baik dari semalam. 

Bye and sorry for everything!

Suffice

Salam. 

During ice-breaking session, if I describe myself as constantly try to arrive on time, I hope people would understand the gist that I am constantly late and that is why I am constantly try to arrive on time. 

I want a story narrated in a way people will be convinced living a life is worth it, instill hope to do as many good deeds as possible, flipping all the deceiving negativity away and make us all anticipate the light at the end of the tunnel. Although it is obvious, on the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes or most of the times I don't know why I still need to be reminded on that. It was after me failed, crumpled, have my face in my hands wet with tears and so much more dramatic events,  only I come to my senses, and say to myself 'This is only a test, God is watching, there is always a good reason behind all this'. 

Hours and hours in bed wallowing in self pity, with all I gained was only puffy eyes and not to mention the hearts I hurt while I was aloof in the silence I created, I wonder too (frustrated and even angry), why I took that long to rationalize? (I am intended to make it rhetorical, but I couldn't help answering, because I am human being, far from perfection!)

So I would like to stress the importance of reminding each other and dedicate my thankfulness towards them who is always there to remind me. Thank you. :)

Bye bye and sorry for everything.

Whisper

Salam.

I am now very selective of the books and food I'm involving myself with now, as I realized that the clock is ticking and there is no way we are getting younger. Back then in Korea, as all I did was mostly of walking and hiking, every activities were so physical and that, I guess is the main reason why obesity is foreign at their country.

So since then, I did some little pinky promise between my right hand to my other hand, to change and reduce anything less beneficial to my body. A week has been good, and I hope I can gradually change to the better in taking care of amanah of my healthy body awarded by my dear God.(Chocolate factory can now anticipate major loss in their sales haha).

Looking back on years in my life, there are major regrets, undeserving happiness and useless act by me, how colorful my life has been, nonetheless. However, there are a lot too that I have overlooked, mostly on how I had take for granted on my times spent. If  I were to answer on how I did utilize all my times, I am sure most of the answers would not give me credit to the admission of everyone's preferred destination hereafter.

I was mostly drowned in my pools of emotion, being weak as if I did not believe that things happened for reason(s), questioning God and immersed in all the silly things  I did back then. So my take for today is for everything that has happened, there are good reasons behind that, not merely reason, it is surely a good one. If the worrisome dare to creep into our heart and pollute our mind, please be sure that our confidence in Allah would overcome everything.

P/s : Sungguh berazam sekali entry ini.

Bye and sorry for everything.

Tips for Dummies

Salam.

Korea trip, tips for dummies. Actually for my  case it was more to lesson learned actually. Haha.

In my case, while book for flight ticket make sure your reservation name is same as passport name.

Second check weather forecast and prepare umbrella sebelum hujan yep.

Third, bring international adaptor as not all countries are using the same kind of adaptor. Google first ya. I brought Thai's spec, I thought that was international adaptor Haha. Below it is for Korea.

Forth, don't skip meals as for those with sensitive stomach (perut manja like yours truly) may have gas pain and throw up all along the journey. Hence, prepare the necessary medicines or don't let your tummy empty before starting the journey.

For those who can't be separated with Malay's food (makanan Melayu is the best!!), you may consider bring this cute little cooker.

Fifth, bring your shades. Do not left your shades in your car at Malaysia that your brother has borrowed which may lead to indecent pictures of yours on a bright sunny day because you frown too much.

Sixth, bring lunchbox. We did cook our own meal or at least bring bread with spread to avoid hunger pang while searching for halal food. 

Seventh, bring 150ml mineral bottle everywhere as not all the toilets prepared with bidet. We have 'botol azimat' that served us well during these past 10days, brand Cactus. Haha

Eighth, know your nature of destination. If you were to hike, do not wear stiletto or 4-inch heels boot (like Nita and me did haha) or else you will be crying for muscle cramp throughout the night. I think that was 10days that I walked most in my life, seriously. While Suraya and Zetty were 1km ahead, we were too busy whining on the shoes inefficiency or lacking of stamina. Semput!

We did hiking at this extreme coast with heels. Outta place sangat. Haha

And this stairs. Luckily we insaf already and put on sneakers. Haha!

I guess that's all for now. Maybe I will blog more on our trip. Bye!

Escapade

Salam.

While I am pretending to not be excited and nervous, I did a little brain exercise. I think I am thinking on something serious but when I try to recall back to know what was I thinking, dang that was just me thinking that I am thinking.

What a waste of time.

Back to excited and nervous part, I am going somewhere in less that 6 hours. I bring my neck pillow for this 6-hour trip to ensure I won't be or look grumpy tomorrow, be it in the picture or not in the picture. Haha

As usual, I am the less contributor to a trip and have to admit that I am just plain  lucky that  still people are counting me in while organizing a trip. (>,<) !!

I have family that define family as a word,  uplifting friends surrounding and cool people at my workplace. While I strongly pray and hope I won't be drifted with this lend gift, I hope this peace at heart will remain forever.

Bye  bye and enjoy your weekend!

Pursue Won't Worth

Salam. 

It is either I want to be free, or I want to belong. When I saw others with partner, I thought that was cool, major milestone achieved. And then, when I see me, too much awkwardness in going there, I think it is best for me to be free. 

Either I want to be free or I want to belong, it is kind of depends to my heart. 

And when I kept myself in the dark, just know that was a cue from my heart. 

Yet, the Talk is Still Here

Salam. 

I am usually excited when it comes to blog, I can write  a blog entry while queueing up for KFC back then, did not bother whether people around were judging and now I wonder where all the excitement go.  

So I bought a pair of boots. And I bake a cake, chocolate moist cake. Okay not entirely me baking, I function as hand-mixer and did the arrangement of fruits topping but I believe I did a great deal of help. Haha. I can cross that annoying to-do-list of bake a cake in 2013 and move on with my life. Yay!

My project team are all guys and I am the only one of XX chromosome. Not that I am complaining, I did enjoy the environment. Seriously, it is kind of okay to me as most of the talk are about cars, career, female celebrities and nothing to do with being pretty or lean. Although I miss those moments talking about make up and JI, I feel I am more focus like this. It is always good in bad and bad in good in everything. 

On Syria under attack by everyone-know-who is something I strongly pray and hope will not be happened. Poor the innocents, the kid. :(

This cake is from my magic touch. Didn't it turn out awesome? Hahaha. I know too many little details to be improved but I am really happy this turn out edible. 

Bye!

But Forever Kept Apart by Forces That Were Bigger Than Us

Salam.

As easy as it seems for certain people to direct people in seeing their blurry lines as an art, I believe they are truly gifted. 

As easy as it always be, to spill some words and for each to their own to get the meaning. 

I hope it is not obvious that I am at where I am now. I am not entirely a failure, but I was picturing for a better future of me by then. However, an-easy-to-please person I am, it is kind of simple to console myself. Just sleep and let the world works for me. The sun will always shine bright, for me. 

I have no idea why tear streaming down while I wrote this. Is it due to the movie I am currently watching? 

Very random and pointless. Bye!

So Much Had Been Lost, So Much that I Would Never Know

Salam.

Today I want to talk about shoes. I am not an up to date person if we are talking about fashion but there is only one kind of flat shoes that I am really interested to. Which is below. 

With this size of ribbon, no more no less. :)

***

How is people constantly have idea to share something with others? In a conversation of two, I am the usual quieter one. I reckon this is because my voice is not that loud. Haha. Okay, just kidding. This is because I am not the feeder of the topic, I found it hard to come out with topic to be discussed together.

I am not sure whether I am that old, or it was just me being paranoid, I heard too many news of people passed away. Not to mention the crisis worldwide and gunshot murder at our very own beloved country. I read this, Maria Elena : Unexpectedly  and could not agree more. Hopefully all of us will meet our Lord at the wicked state of our iman. Amin.

Bye!

This Too Shall Pass

Haha. I want to be lean but when I consume my medicine for acne, I will gain weight. I want my skin to be healthy, for that I need my medicine. But I don't want to gain weight. Haha. What a puzzling test. 

Dear Allah, please let me be one of your grateful servant, please forgive me.

Tilting Halt

Salam. 

To mention that I will be missing Ramadhan sounds cliche, but that seriously is true. I hope even after Ramadhan, all the good things we practise during Ramadhan will be continued. 

The not good thing of meeting parent is the missing part afterwards. I am down with fever these past 2 days and tomorrow I will be having training that I can't escape.

 Meeting different kind of people, I need to always remember that certain people come to ease and another may come to test, the patience and virtue. And I can't control what people say but my feeling and reaction, yes. 

Someone said we can't be nice everytime, everyone's patience come with the limit. Then further I learn, God will never test someone beyond their capabilities. 

My parent always had open house on third Syawal. Please swing by next year if you are around, if God permit, panjang umur and murah rezeki. 

I don't know why this post does not sound as giddy as I had imagine. I am not this serious but maybe writing in full sentence make it sound so serious, not to mention weird.

Bye! :)

(Abah would be more handsome if he did not smile like that and wore a songkok)

Fur

Salam.


***

• It is scary how once a high spirited person in fighting to be better end up losing hope and drifted far too away. 

•  I am okay now, despite the need to snap scenery pictures as I was once really into that. I did stumble an instacanvas of someone and amazed on the most image taken. Sometimes I think Instagram does blinding the effort of people that edit via authentic photo editor like Adobe or anything similar. Not that I am one of those people. 

• As a woman, we want to be pretty but smart but funny but elegant but pious but bubbly interesting. We want to be everything nice. Everytime when I am confuse what I want to be among all mentioned above, I always simplify the process of reaching conclusion by questioning myself, what if I die tomorrow? Is it worth? This works quite well for a lazy thinker like me as dunia hanyalah ibarat air yang menitik dari jari yang dicelup dalam lautan luas. 

• It is absurd, impossible to have people surrounding fit the characteristic that you want him or her to be in your life. Everybody is different in their own way and we can't expect them to fit the criteria that we set them to be. Like how is that supposed to be? Just respect the uniqueness. (Sound so stern here but not really. Hehe ✌)

• Something interesting will be happening soon. Looking forward for it. :)

Bye!

Of My Small World in This Big World

Salam.

This past couple of weeks or months which I am not quite sure when this started, I think I lost the excitement, the grip, the hype that people are all talking about. I hope this phase is for temporary only as living with lesser spirit to fight back is not something I am comfortable at.

Also hearing a lot of complaint make me stuck too, and in all honesty it does affect me, no matter how hard I keep convincing myself I will not be affected by this. I can't stop people from complaining as first, it is rude to interfere and second, I did complain too. Maybe I should skip certain rants on my timeline or keep remind myself to be grateful as grateful people do not complain. I am not a good listener, and listening to the same complains over and over again is quite tough for me as I am not forever in the mode of soothing people. The verge of being rude if to talk logic to those blinded by emotions.

Then, I am also not really excited about Aidilfitri. Of course I will be happy meeting my family members and all, but seriously this time, the only aim that I have is to put effort at full blast during this fasting month, more voluntary solat and deeds and all. I am planning to not buy any baju raya too and celebrate in moderation. Sounds dull I know and I take this as my kind of growing up.

Last but not least, for every hurdles that we past through, sometimes it is hard to believe things happen for reason as the hardship is constant. But it is more important to see the good in every bad so that we don't end up giving up too soon or keep blaming fate on every occasion. Playing victim at all time is weakening and it is a big sign of not winning the test. Train your (our) mind to see things in a better way as it majorly determine the action taken later.

Jangan nak marah  je. Nanti cepat tua. :)

Sorry for everything. Bye bye!

Mock

Salam. 

Not everyone was born with money. Many had to work for it and I never see negative people succeeded. Most of them are positive, fighting back by nature rather than self-depreciating. 

It was not our fault born at certain state of mind. But it is our responsibility to die at a better level. Insya Allah Amin. 

Very random. 

Sickness Madness

Salam.

Somewhere last year I had this one weird dream. The dream was about me being ignorant towards my friend, lost contact for a while which seeing her virtually is the only way I could see her updates and life progress. And then, this one friend suddenly couldn't accept our parting way and sulked. She called me and said, "You have been so busy to hang out. You didn't even like my pictures!'

I woke up, dumbfounded and grabbed my phone,  and did the obvious which was 'like' the photo as instructed. 

Is this some kind of reminder to rekindle a friendship? Haha. 

***

Last weekend, I attend the engagement of my sweet friend. Alhamdulillah the event was a success event, everything went smoothly and this one friend have that amazing support and strong tie with her big family members. The only thing I am upset about was me not really being a great help. Sorry F! Hehe

Insya Allah, may your next step will be ease by God. :)

And the next day on Sunday, I attend Fatin (I was about to type Fating-very Terengganu-ish me haha) in Putrajaya. Alhamdulillah everything went well. May everything go as per plan for you Fatin Amin. :)

***

I was in Terengganu for our housewarming a weekend earlier, back to KL on Sunday, went to Kuantan on Tuesday morning for 2-day workshop at Zenith Hotel, Kuantan, went to Malacca the next Friday until Sunday, and back to office on Monday. Today, I am down with fever. Haha. My body and its system are not as strong as I think they are. 

Travelling, as much as I love to,  still I need my own time to stay put. But anyhow, this is really a good excuse for me to rest. 

On and On

Salam.

Last week I was planning to write on behalf of my hormone. It was pure lucky that I don't have spare time to do that or else I would be nagging non stop. But one can't be so sure I am afraid the further content would be toppled, who knows.

Oftentimes, it was hard to believe that everything happened for good reason, really. (We see now that it is back to speaking on behalf of hormone). Work has been too much in time consumption but too little in progress and of recent, all so sudden the mid year performance review email came and made my life a bit shattered. Soothing myself by chanting I can do this of course and what to sell is to be figured out.

I watch a few second long video of a baby that missed her mother too much and she kissed the Ipad with her mother's picture on it a few times. To be saddened by the missing feeling shown or to be touched by even a baby knows how to express her love to the mother, I think it was the mixture of both. The baby is not yet in talking term.

I heard that most of people prefer images-laden post compared to words, but I am on the other side of plank that prefer words compared to images. I know images are fancier, but words had that unique attraction that works for me.

I am observant, it is creepy to close friends that know how much I could divulge the 'biodata' of someone random that slip somewhere in our conversation. I am gifted some way in remembering names and of course God is fair, I had so little space in my memory to store on the mapping department and not knowing the whereabouts is too often happened to me.

I heard as well that writing with too many 'I' as the subject is not implying a good writer. But I am not here to let people put whether I am a good or bad writer, so it is okay for me. I read somewhere in Under the Duvet that it is a big no-no to write about her friends so perhaps I could make use of that advice. This may lead to disastrous cat fight. Unless if I am certain I only write of only good things.

I hope I can be a good traveling partner. Still working on this but already people reached the peak of the mountain. But it is okay, learning is progressing.

Tomorrow I will be driving home. I remember I was less homesick during school and uni days. How come at this age the homesick would be worse? It was best to conclude this is the quarter-life crisis, in which many are aware it was either lean/thick, wealth/zuhud, single/married or die/live.

Have a good day.

Cute Boy

Salam.

I am late of course, but Kai below is too cute. Haha

Those Who Wish to Sing, Always Find a Song

Salam.

I have been changing my blog appearance like it really matters. But as I am kind of in laid-back mode right now, I need to express it through the simplicity of the white in this theme. We, women has that special gift of over thinking on certain things as if it matter much, but in reality the bang that been cut short is only 1 inch. (Just like me and changing the appearance of the layout of this blog).

I have bought two books. Both are equally good and I would like to recommend them here. As I grow older, I notice I am no longer crave for the fictional book, I long for something that is more encouraging and relevant in my life. So the first book is, co-written by Prof Muhaya and Bahruddin Bekri, (picture below). I know that brick thick book is quite impossible for us now, so this 3/8 Inches thick book is ideal for all. Because the short stories in the book was based from real life story and to know someone so kind-hearted exist in this world, it was a very good rings-a-bell kind of book.

Second is below.

I read this book, so sheepishly while flipping, realizing there is too much negativity in me that hold me back from flying. (Not that I can fly, but floating is not really the word too, so... hehe).

 And one of the way recommended to not feel  sorrow, forlorn, dull (negative negative words) is by list down all the achievement and big events in life. As example (cue : boast talk of mine, sorry!), 'I have join 9 runs', instead of 'I have yet to finish 21 km run, let alone a 42 km marathon'.

Enjoy the weekend people and sorry for everything. Bye!

Terrible Sense of Loss

Salam.

There is a very concrete reason why I was born as a daughter to my parents, blessed with siblings of mine and cross path with friends surrounding me. Basically, there is a giant reason why I am fated to be me. It is simpler to say that I am not strong enough to live without my parents, my siblings and my friends. Mother's Day is now and although it is not much of celebration for my mother, but mother is as always cheerful when we, her kid give her a call. (Okay maybe exception at the moment when we are begging for pocket money hehe)

There are a few of my friends, whom their mother's passed away when they were still young. I took a close look at these women and it is safe to say that these women were all strong. They are group of people who can stand strong on their own feet, unlike me that as of now still too much relying on my parents. To you strong women, I salute you. To know you are being tested with the loss because you are strong, or to know you are being strong because you passed the test, it work both way. Remember, you are strong!!

The reason why I wrote about this topic up here is because I thought while we are all celebrating with our lovely moms, how hard is it for those which their moms are not physically there to be celebrated. 

Happy day ahead. Insya Allah.

Bye!
 

Cold Feet

Salam.

Is it normal if I forget to watch movie on my laptop because I hop on too many website and keep forgetting about the movie until it is too late and I need to sleep because I am now on strict plan to sleep before 12midnight  because sleeps before 12 is proven by research will refuel one's body at double effect...

I need to do everything I should do before hit the sack in 13 minutes.Good night!

Banana Fritters

Salam.

Excerpt from a book that I bought yesterday :

Lelaki A, (sakit jantung during football): "Mengislamisasikan aktiviti? Makcik kata aktiviti saya tidak islamik?"

Mak Cik : "Maafkan saya sekiranya Tuan terasa hati, tetapi izinkan saya bertanya. Bertanya kepada diri saya sendiri sebenarnya. Apabila membuat sesuatu aktiviti, adakah kita sudah niatkan ia sebagai ibadah kepada Allah? Kita bersenam, bersukan, adakah kita niatkan ia adalah ibadah? Adakah kita sudah sempurna menutup aurat semasa beraktiviti? Adakah kita tetap mengerjakan solat semasa beraktiviti? Mungkin itulah peringatan Allah yang mahu Dia ingatkan kepada kita."

***

Ayah/Suami (that his leg about to be amputated) : " Jangan risau, kita tidak mati, kita cuma berpindah alam. Dari alam dunia ke alam akhirat, dah sekarang pun abang cuma berpindah dari manusia yang sempurna fizikalnya kepada manusia yang sudah tidak sempurna. Doakan sahaja nanti, dalam perpindahahan itu kita tetap bersama. Itu yang lebih utama daripada menangisi perkara yang tidak kekal."

***

Mak Cik Cleaner : " Sekiranya kita menghadapi musibah, jangan hadapinya sebagai seorang guru, jangan hadapinya sebagai seorang jururawat, jangan hadapinya sebagai seorang doktor, tetapi usahakanlah menghadapinya sebagai seorang mukmin."

***

Doktor : "Amin, badan awak itu amanah. Jangan kita cuma fikir anak itu sahaja amanah, wang orang itu amanah, janji itu amanah, tetapi jauh-jauh sebelum semua itu, lihat tubuh kita, ia adalah amanah daripada Allah."

Amin : " Sebab ia amanahlah, maka saya makan banyak-banyak,"

Doktor : " Allah beri kita tubuh yang sihat supaya kita dapat beribadah kepada Dia dengan baik. Itulah amanah yang diberikan kepada kita melalui tubuh yang sihat. Andai sahaja kita tidak menjaga amanah yang diberi ini, maka bagaimana dengan ibadah kita? Adakah mudah untuk sujud lama-lama dalam keadaan tubuh begini? Adakah mudah untuk iktidal lama-lama dengan paha yang besar? Adakah mudah untuk kita bangun pagi pada waktu subuh dengan keadaan tubuh begini? Jadi, jagalah pemakanan awak. Bersenam dan ia akan ikut menjaga amanah yang Allah beri kepada kita, iaitu tubuh ini."

***

Pensyarah kepada doktor pelatih : " Kita sedih kerana ego kita jatuh. Tetapi kita tidak panggil ia ego, kita katakannya maruah. Maruah kita jatuh, dan sebenarnya apa yang kita kata maruah itulah sebenarnya ego."

Doktor Pelatih : "Apa itu maruah, Prof.?"

Pensyarah kepada doktor pelatih : "Maruah itu adalah harga diri kita dengan Allah. Bagaimana kita menjaga diri daripada terjebak dengan maksiat, bagaimana kita mempertahankan agama Allah, bagaimana kita menjadi hamba-Nya yang baik. Sekiranya kita menjaga diri kita di hadapan Allah, tidak timbul isu maruah lagi sesama manusia kerana Allah sudah menjaga maruah kita. Walaupun kita dihina, dicaci, kita tetap tidak terasa hati dengan segala hinaan itu. Malah, kita tetap sedaya upaya berbuat baik dengan orang yang menghina kita. Bukan kerana kita lemah, tetapi kita menjaga maruah kita dengan Allah dengan berbuat baik sesama manusia."

Pensyarah kepada doktor pelatih : "Sudah saya katakan ia memang sukar, tetapi kita cubalah. Mungkin kita tidak berjaya pada mula-mula kita dimarahi. Tetapi selepas itu tanya diri kita, mengapa saya perlu terasa hati sekiranya yang tercalar cuma ego, bukannya maruah. Sentiasa tanya diri. Sama ada yang tercalar ataupun dihina itu adalah ego kita ataupun maruah kita. Insya-Allah, sekiranya kita dapat menjawab persoalan itu, kita mampu menghadapai situasi apa pun yang mendatang."

***

Doktor : "Penyakit itu datang kerana kita yang mengundangnya sendiri. Bagaimana kita mengundangnya? Kita mengundangnya dengan kita berfikiran negatif. Kita muram, kita mudah risau, dan akhirnya ia memberi kesan kepada kita."

***

Lelaki B : " Saya bukan sakit. Tidak perlu panggil doktor. Saya cuma..."

Jururawat : "Encik cuma apa?"

Lelaki B :"Saya...saya cuma malu, dan gementar..."
(Rupa-rupanya lelaki nie nervous because his girlfriend's father is sick and warded. So this is his first meeting with his future father-in-law)

Jururawat : "Saya pernah diberi pesan ini, orang yang sentiasa berasa Allah bersama dengannya, dia yakin dengan dirinya. Jadi, Encik banyakkan berzikir dalam hati. Dengan membiasakan diri menyebut nama Allah, kita akan tenang. Tetapi, saya tahu ia bukan semudah bercakap kerana saya sendiri pun sering terlupa pesan itu. Jadi, apabila kita sudah ingat atau diperingatkan, apa salahnya kita amalkan. Semoga kita tidak akan lupa lagi."

P/s : I hope it is okay for me to copy the content of the book in here.

Even Now is a Turning Point

Salam.

I have been bingeing for too long. This was of course humiliating to admit, but sometimes (many times on monthly basis), I am letting loose all the restriction. Without realizing it, the period is extended and affected me, especially my self-esteem because self-esteem is not something I am famous at. Not that I am famous at other things. Haha. Okay, in layman term I am gaining too much weight!

Don't bother to soothe me (don't bother to agree on the fact that I am gaining too much too! Haha). Because this is really my fault.So I decided to take control starting from yesterday. A day success is still counted right? An effort even at the tiniest bit is still worth a pat at the shoulder. Said someone who is just started several hours.

Okay, lets leave that at that. I am too optimistic now to elaborate more I afraid I might sound delusional if I go further.

***

At this age, generally we demand something not physically visible. The absence might lead to two ending, weakened human being or strengthened one. Depending on how we look at things of course. I know this is easier said than done, but we are now too old to contemplate whether we can do it or we can't do it. A simple formula given by my God via below I guess is enough to convince. Unless if I don't believe in that which of course I don't dare to.

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an)

 Someone might question why we are always being tested. For those realistic, he/she will take that as a way from God to show His love and brave the test. For someone a little unclear to see things, he/she usually take that as a way to prove that God didn't love he/she and give up before even started the battle. Give up may come in form of anger,  frustration and negative thinking (which I usually inclined to, I hope no more Amin).

For the sin that we (I)  have done, it is too fortunate for me to keep reminded by Him with the tests  and give me chance for some room of improvement. I don't want to die hanyut and end up in the place that every Muslim don't want to be.

I am sorry for everything and good night :)

Best Intentions

Salam.

The usual dilemma is back, what else than 'what to wear to office tomorrow?'

My not-long-not-really-short-term mission is to have my face skin as healthy as before. Amin.
If that is really happen, I would be the happiest person. The happiest person that is not just happy, but also appreciative and grateful, the kind of happy that we usually feel after we found the things that we lost.

 I know so duniawi this wish inclined to, but you know, it has been so long I don't have any seafood based meals. (Imagine missing sambal belacan for about a year people?)

I bought bean bag! I know so last year but better late than never right. The beanbag is course the most relevant purchase I made this year. My life is kind of complete now. Okay sort of, but this for sure is giving me more reason to be home early.

Due to the existence of bean bag, I am half-way done with Silver Linings Playbook. This is a very good book, seriously. Thanks to Naddy for the book hehe. When I read the book, I feel like Pat is someone that I would like to protect, and I really don't get it when people in the book were so cruel to him.Be strong Pat!! (Pat is Bradley Cooper).

Previously I was too obsess with Alexa Chung and then Kristen Stewart. But now, no more. My current girl crush is no other than, Troian Bellisario.

She is really inspiring, so happy go lucky, so warm and bubbly. I wish I am half as cool as her. On top of all the coolness, her boyfriend is Patrick J Adams.

...

Lastly, on something more relevant below.

One can always dream.

Bye bye!

  "Falling down is how we grow. Staying down is how we die."
Brian Vaszily

Never About the Number

Salam.

The fact that I started to watch (not to mention, repetitively) One Direction on Youtube, on their One Way or Another creeps me out too. I am seriously too old to be their fan. I should just stick to Coldplay or Alex Goot. But to make you guys understand what the fuss is all about and not to look at me like I am such a pedophile,  please enjoy below.



Often times, I do expect too much, from outside elements. This is one of many point that  I need to improve on. Hopefully. But don't get me wrong, this is not about one-sided love. This is about me being too much swayed by letting something that out of my control steer the process and dictate the outcome. At the end of the day, the result has always not what I had picture in my mind.

By the way, I join MAKNA's Run last week. It was fun of course, despite the absence of the medal. Having said that, I do think I am way too young to retire from this (run). Just so we clear, when I state that I join the run for 10/12km, it was not for every steps I took, I ran. When I am about to die panting so much, I will take a brisk walk, just like people do at the park, even capture some good scenery if I were too bored. Running for me is never about competition. (Please excuse the lucky draw bits, who are not crazy over Air Asia free ticket to any Asia countries?)

 I join the run because I enjoy it. This is also a very good excuse to have my sport shoes see the sun, at least several times a year.

All of sudden, I am becoming defensive on the One Direction video above. So just to clear the air and set things straight, below is also my current on repeat song.



Welcoming weekend all too willingly, good night people. Bye! :)

Holier-than-thou

Salam.

The art of reminding people is so unique that is why not many can do it right. Reminding people is a very good gesture, but  it can't be done in a way that will humiliate others, which I honestly take this matter seriously. This may lead to holier-than-thou attitude which  is wrong to many levels.

 As Prof Muhaya said, 'Audit diri sendiri, everytime'.

I spent 10 hours yesterday driving (alone), which I guess that will be first and last driving to and fro for 10 hours in a day. I am totally sleepy on the way back and I am forever grateful for yesterday I managed to reach home safely.

I am actually have a lot to share since I did not blog for about a month but right now, I cannot recall on what I plan to write.

Last two days, in a day there were numbers of good news which made me hyper all day long. I cannot really divulge here (haven't I mentioned that I am reserved person?), so lets just wrap it as countless blessing from God for me and my family and friends.

By the way, Major Minus is my current favourite pick from Mylo Xyloto from dear Coldplay. 10 hours driving made me realize that. Haha.

And, I should not get involved with Suits (or Mike Ross or Harvey Specter) in the first place. I finished both seasons already. Right now, they shouldn't make us wait too long for season 3.

I know I am supposedly hit the sack and ready to slumberland now. But I have 5 unattended books, which all are presents for my birthday and I feel bad abandoning them like that. So I should read myself  bedtime story now.

Good night!

My loyal companion.

:)

Stolen collage. Everybody wearing the smile on their face :)

'Of course I am cute', said the cow.

I am nervous too. Hope new place will treat us just as fine.

Destination and Stumbling Block

Salam.

What on earth had made me think I would be any different?

It was funny at first, denial come later before reality hits, real hard.

At first, on car accident. I would never imagine someone close will be involved in accident, not once nor twice, and I hope that would be all.

Second, break up. I was strongly hinged on the fact that my first relationship will last forever. But who am I to deny God's plan?

Third, to know that once a grieving ex-girlfriend is now can't be more grateful for letting all the process happened and allow her to learn one or two important bits of putting God at highest position in everything.

Forth, to see a man that his heart was stop beating and in comatose state, run again.

Fifth, to stare at a yellowish photo, a kind of yellow that only happen due to time effect and knowing that the person in the photo is no longer around.

I always think that on a certain thing, I am an exception. Living up until now proves me wrong. The table is now turned.

And above all, the mystery of tomorrow, on some magic spell, able to make me excited for the future.

Starter of a Phase

Salam :)

I just got back from Penang, attending Zeela's wedding. Zeela and me were quite  foreign during uni days. But who knows ikan di laut, asam di darat, during intern days, we were fated to be housemate (This rhyme!) . From there, I became quite close with the housemates especially Fatin and Zeela.

When one of my closest friend become a wife, I am happy to know at least she is in good hands. May Allah bless their marriage with healthy and cute kid insya Allah :)

Zeela and Fatin.Tersama kaler baju hahaha

UTPians crowd.

Memang purposely pilih colour sama. Zeela and me ;)

Housemates yang seng2 (sengal).

 :B

Part II ;

Salam.

Pursuance to below entry, that best two thing also applied at the car wash.

Below;

Abah and his favourite past time. Cangkul.

At Low Blow

Salam.

There are two best thing done at the car service centre. First is sleeping, and second is blog. The crappy show they have at television never manage to keep me awake and the magazine were mostly in the language that I am not familiar with.

One key I must remember as a working level is never leave our task to someone else. Because the responsibility is ours. I learned my lesson, even if I am sick, I must, to recover quickly and get back on track. I don't want others to be burdened by me, and hopefully after this I will be fit and positive doing all my task.

Of recent, I had Prof Muhaya motivational talk airing in my small rented room. I now understand the hype of people surrounding towards her. She is so positive in a way that encouraging people to be positive as well. In which, I am quite intimidated, regretting on why I am late in this.

I had a two-week-long stomach ache. Not the usual monthly basis one, but the one I had never experience before. At first I thought it was due to food poisoning, and now I am puzzled too, what kind of food that is taking too long stuck in my tummy and creating whirlwind effects there.

Till then, bye!

P/s : Brooch below (and many more design) is for sale. Contact me for purchase. Mother is the one selling and I am the usual promoter. There are lifetime warranty for this brooch and you can always repair/reinstate the missing stone.

Domino Effect

Salam.

As most of you aware, water crisis at Cheras seems like solved, last night (Monday night). It is not that I am not happy about this, but housemate and me were already all out last Sunday bought every necessity to store water. We are now equipped with a very large tank (tempayan if you want to imagine) and a trolley. The trolley was quite pricey but I guess this is a good investment for future.

We were all ready to face the coming days without water, going back and forth transporting the water from the giant tank at ground level (using newly bought trolley of course) and gained quite a muscle and cramp and all excited to use the new tempayan. But all so sudden, water supply is back as normal. Haha. Alhamdulillah.

Called mother today at 3.30pm, and without any greetings mother scolded me, 'Haa, baru nak call?'- which I  recalled last time I called mother was not really a long past. I called her on Sunday night, to brag about my new tempayan. Come to think again 'Haa, baru nak call?'- sounds like we haven't been in touch for at least a week. Haha

My tummy was not feeling so good after lunch today and I've been to toilet for umpteenth time since then. To not make matter worse, I went to clinic and according to doctor, I had food poisoning. No wonder the symptoms seem familiar (My first and last admittance to hospital is due to food poisoning in 2010). Concluded already that this food poisoning is due to consumption of contaminated food due to no water supply.

Bye!

Battling My War

Salam.

The rush of everything dominate the option that I took. In almost everything, let say food or lifestyle, time is the reason why the one that I choose wasn't the best.

Fast food over home-cooked dinner, going back home straight instead of exercise or catching up, straight into slumberland without further self reflection with God and many more things that were totally not as per plan when I was a lot younger.

When I was too much trying to cope, I fall sick a lot. The running, travel and homesick were the combination that I deal most at this phase of my life.

I envy those who stay with family.

In keeping up with life, I am afraid I tend to forget the ultimate purpose of life. Keep me grounded please.

Drop of Water

Salam.

As you all know, there are some water issue at my place. The first two days, I had my shower at the the gym below office area. Day three, I decided to stay somewhere that do not require me to stay thirsty at night.

This was a humbling starter of a year. I instantly reminded of those who lived way earlier than us, how can they able to totally depending on river flow everytime? Impressive, really.

Water is abundant in Malaysia. That is a fact that I hope will not change forever.

Bye!