Remote

Salam.

October, 2011.

I was on the way to home, in a bus some time in 2009. I was alone and the seat beside me was unfortunately not vacant, occupied by a boy. Having no option, I took my seat and set my gaze to the window, so that this boy would understand that I was in no mood to talk, especially to stranger.

After a while, maybe he was bored to death, or even better, maybe he found me a person who is interesting to talk to, the silence between us was broken by his question. Not a pick up line obviously because he was still in school, I reckon he was 16. ( In case if you forgot, I am 17, at heart ;).

After a little too many questions, I reached my destination. Our conversation was mainly on my education, school, study and teachers. This boy remind me so much of my little brother, and my heart was quite shaken by his bluntness by then. He basically ask me on tips to study well in school, and admitting the existence of ego in me, I preach about every little thing geek do in school, which I was obviously not but somehow I talked like I was one. Hehe

I know I looked like a quite quiet person, but I am a person that make conversation with stranger in bus.

Here in KL, I know if I were to start a conversation in train, my face would easily printed with L sign right straight on my head. Plus, with series of crime cases related to this kind of contact, I am a bit traumatize. ;/

Bye and take care people. :)

Stones

Salam.

I was late in buying raya ticket, again. I thought I won't manage to celebrate raya with beloved family, but fortunately, with the might-of-anything-possible, I am going to celebrate raya with family. Father was busy reminding me to buy the ticket last Friday, so off we go to buy the ticket today. I am blessed to have such a thoughtful father.

***

One of the thing I obssess with is bracelet. But not any kind of bracelet, more like bangle I think, just this one kind that, erm let me google the picture to help me explain better. Hehe

Image is from here.

But seriously, this bangle is too pricey. I thought after years of telling tales to mother that jade and me are like Romeo and Juliet, Edward and Bella or Mahathir and Hasmah, mother will finally get the hint  and buy me a piece of this. But...

The hunt for perfect one is not yet end, reason being is because this green thingy consume big chunk of money. So for now, I will just settle with a string of pink stones that came with more humble price. (I ask the sales girl, this stone is good for what? And the girl said that this stone is for love. See? I am pretty sure this blog is soon to be flooded with cheesier stuff :) ).

Take care and have a good day ahead everyone.

Fishing, lets?

Salam.

Happy Diwali everyone :)

We just spend our one day off at home. It is quite sometime I didn't read something inspiring and beneficial, my favourite blogger TheKnot and This and
That didn't blog too frequent these days.

Life has been somehow fun, however, I heard about a few break up my friends had pass through. I know at first, you will be too dependent with tissues and loo. But, no worries. That is really normal. But, don't take too long dwelling in self pity. I was before, and what I manage to develop is shabbiness and missing lots of fun.

Looking into bigger picture, break up is good, in a way it teach me how to deal life alone and stand strong on our own feet. Being in a relationship for too long may make you forget some of the things you are capable of. And plus, when we are occupied, we don't really have time to remember Allah. Fill the hollow in your heart by zikrullah. It is really helpful.

One more thing, remember, chin up and look straight. There are wide vast open sea in front of you. Just watch out ;)

Umbrella in Pink

Salam.

Currently I am listening to this.

The wordings are so beautiful, I dedicate this song to all my friends. I have been meaning to say something cheesier, but pardon me, I can't. I am almost puke. Hehe. Oh wait, I have this chocolate stain at my fingers, need to wash em first.

Okay I'm back. :)

So hows your weekends? Mine is alhamdulillah, okay.
You see, when we are passing through our phase of life, when we are getting higher through the ladder, it is true that things are getting tougher, and for me, I am very very bad in maintaining relationship with girlfriend. I didn't nourish them well. Worsen the condition, basically a bad person, I just let them drifted apart. And at the end of the day, seeing their pictures spread on the net hanging out and chilling without me, I am biting my nail, envious.

So to make my swollen heart feel better, I am whispering to myself that I am homey person, being at home doing laundry and sweeping the floor is much better. I am in denial, again.

But no worries folks, I am working on this. (first attempt, post up this video  and dedicate to friends, isn't it obvious?) Hehe

By the way, feel free to be flattered, I am seriously missing you :)

Soonest, when?

Salam.

Except from my 14 followers, I don't know who else reading this piece of mine. I thought I would want to divulge some personal matters here, I don't know I just feel like I cannot contain this all alone.

Erm, so convo passed, and now I am living my life  like usual. I have been keeping all this to myself and now, specifically tonight I don't feel like I am strong enough. Maybe because of the rain, maybe because tomorrow is Friday, maybe because I am alone now and don't feel like doing anything. I don't know.

I am hoping for something big, which if I manage to obtain this, my life would be deviated from its original plan, threehundredsixty degree. I know there will be argument and all, but I don't know, for this time I just felt like I am up for this.

I am planning to at least be dear to everyone and being open about this, truth is I can't. Plus, I don't know, it is not like this thing matters much. ;/

Bye bye and hope to feel better tomorrow.

Robe Edition

The Big Book

Salam.

40 years later, when reaching for a cup is no longer as easy as now, I know slowly I will forget about this day specifically that I can play around with robes and all, so this post is dedicated for me, the old me.

I am blessed to be given a chance studying in UTP.

I guess I have to make a move now. Work work work.

Salam.

I admit that I was not aware before, that you are always close to me. In this event, proven and I promise I will never act like before, neglecting you and forgetting you.

Re-post

- I was emo, and re- read this make me laugh. Haha

*
Salam.

So the story went on something like this. A guy convinced me that I am not pretty. I was quite astonished by then. (Pretty or not, it is a fact that quite awkward to be discussed and throw right into your face, no?- and of course that is a fact that I am fully aware and need not to be reminded).

Not long after that, a girl come to justify that I am no longer pretty, I was pretty and now I am wasted.

Then talk goes on like now I am no longer cheerful, my company wasn't as great and I needed no longer in any occasion.

People change and I change. I thank you those who stays around with my transformation and those who bluntly throws comment.

I, as positive as I could will appreciate everything that came into my life. But a heart and matters involving it, is quite too complicated to be put into sentences. It is quite untrue to declare virtually about forgiving thingy when deep down inside, absolute grudge hidden.

May all of us learned, talk less and think more.

I am contented with everything for now.

On the positive note, I will be at home in less than a hour! What my house and room will look like? I've been hopping here and there, not really have time to miss home and now, I am deeply believe the sentence 'I am going home' alone bring some positive vibes.

Happy Ramadhan all beautiful :)

*

Sweetest Goodbye

Every day, when I was in school 5 or 6 years back, we have break around 45 minutes before start our prep, so I without fail, will climb back to hostel just to listen to Songs About Jane especially this Sweetest Goodbye. MP3 is quite foreign by that time, we have this bulky thingy called discman, if you can recall.
Hehe.

Bye :)

Peacock

Salam.

On what in my mind :

I sketch this. I am bluffing. Googled of course.

• I like to make friends, but didn't really shown on my face. I am poker face. I maybe quite quiet in a crowd, but I participate in the conversation. Well you can't have two storytellers at a time, there must be a party that listen. (Me!)

• It is very hard for me to listen to others' opinion. Hahaha. Not a good thing, really. More like annoying Anis. (Working on it)

• I have sensitive skin, but quite happy with the supplement I consume for now, monetary-wise especially.(But please don't expect me being flawless, flawed is a sign of real human- me in denial obviously)

• As time passed by, I talk lesser and lesser. That is why being with me make you bored to death (Oh at this point, please tell me I am one interesting girl you would like to spend time with...*eyes batting)

• I have this one question I can't really answer, on what I fear most... Still thinking and none seems like the correct answer. 

• I am agree with Tun M, enough playing mystical play. Our kid gain nothing from it. What a waste.

• I don't know how others treat this coming convocation, but I am very excited. Woohoo. I will try to attend every single thing they organized and participate, this is one moment in my life that will never happen again :) On what I wear? Smile on my face.

•  Mother is now quite busy, she no longer sulks when I forgot to call her. Pretty much occupied with her workload I guess. So today, I texted Mother to bug her and as usual whatever she replied will end with this --> !!!! It has been some time I tried to tell mother that that sign means shout, but to no avail. 

 I forgot to say bye bye.

Bye and take care peeps!

Of Lazy and Ignorance

Salam.

(The post written below is a bit harsh, I  wrote this last night, dawn to be exact, and kept it as draft when I re-read it in the morning because I thought those who read might be pissed or so. But I thought, again,who am I kidding, this is my blog- a most dear place to vent :)

***

Googled.

On the things that frustrating me most now, is lacking of interest in knowing current issues and gaining knowledge. I don't know what Malaysia would become if people at my age is talking games and fashion at all times.

And who I'm worry most, is me. I used to read everything everyday, and now I just constantly used 'I am too busy to know this' reason and yeah, refuse to know what is going up. It is not about reading that I concern here, but the current news and anything that will make me stay rooted to my country is.

I am feeling patriotic, this all of sudden because I just watch a video about my fourth prime minister, and cannot help from feeling the lost even when he is still around.

I just want him, or at the very least, a man as brave as him to fight for the country. This is too, not about politic, but to plant some motivation for those who need it. Some people may just save the effort to have insight about constructive info at some later time, and left in the status of not knowing everything because of feeling too young to know things - at loss. The ignorance is irrelevant anymore.

Another drawback is when people thought they were really know things, they tried to plant the ideas in someone mind without leaving the other person some consideration to think, let alone some room for discussion. Which is annoying and unhealthy.

Too young for this.
Ignorance is a bliss.
Too lazy to think.
This is obliged not for me, to others. I will forever become a parasit that contribute nothing and for forever, is the receiving hands.

Lets at least contribute something, and as a baby step, read and learn.

Went Kaput

Salam.

Today a lot of things had happened, at all stage. In the morning, I was beyond the lowest point because of work stress, at noon I called a bf that care to listen and feel relief after that, and at evening doing work and work and later  have a nice conversation with superior that give me pang of realization and at night, watching movie with one of other bf.The movie is Dream House and all I can say is Rachel the Lux girl is really pretty.

One of many thing that I gathered for today is-let me give you an analogy (or two! Hehe)

Let say I am hired as a clerk, with pay of RM1.5k per month and working hour agreed is from 8am-5pm. So Anis the clerk goes to work each and every day without fail and gleely happy at month end because of payslip. But Anis the Clerk didn't felt that amount is suffice. She thought she needs more. There are a lot more to pay (and to purchase mind you) and on top of feeling not enough because of so-so salary, she been robbed and started to feeling angry to God. How can she continue to live until the next payday?

First, the idea that instilled to me just now is, there are many people who comes to work diligently every day, but were they really come to work? Or chatting, or as mundane activity, or as a fashion stage or just to appear in office and make others aware of our presence so we won't be questioned by boss if absent?

As agreed, we are hired to work from 8-5, so the contentment won't come if we don't work as we promised. The wage that we received every month will be questioned later, and as a matter of fact, I believe the feeling of not enough is coming from this, receiving money that is not for what we were delivering.

So I've been reminded (in a good way) by my superior to take a really good care on amount of work that I commit and the time I spent to do real work, because I had promised so and promises shall not be broken. Plus, the money is for buying my food. The consequences on the quality of my work not only affect me, but others, and in long term too.

So in conclusion, let ask ourselves whether we deserved the money each month?

Lets be rajin as bee :) - Image googled

Second, when Anis the Clerk been robbed, Anis the Clerk felt life is unfair, injustice and why among all many well-off people out there, God chose her to be robbed. All she can do is questioning why and why and why and knowing Anis the Clerk, perhaps quick idea on what color of new handbag she should buy to replace her stolen handbag.

The thing is, everything happen for reason. In our awarded rezeki, there are portion of others in it. Should we allocate the money to its right place or people, Insya Allah everything will be okay. So lets do the checklist again, have we share our awarded money with the deserving people or place? (If not, tell me I will text you Anis the Clerk's account number!)

Okay. I think that is all from me. Bye bye and good night everyone. Have a good day ahead and take care! :)