Even Now is a Turning Point

Salam.

I have been bingeing for too long. This was of course humiliating to admit, but sometimes (many times on monthly basis), I am letting loose all the restriction. Without realizing it, the period is extended and affected me, especially my self-esteem because self-esteem is not something I am famous at. Not that I am famous at other things. Haha. Okay, in layman term I am gaining too much weight!

Don't bother to soothe me (don't bother to agree on the fact that I am gaining too much too! Haha). Because this is really my fault.So I decided to take control starting from yesterday. A day success is still counted right? An effort even at the tiniest bit is still worth a pat at the shoulder. Said someone who is just started several hours.

Okay, lets leave that at that. I am too optimistic now to elaborate more I afraid I might sound delusional if I go further.

***

At this age, generally we demand something not physically visible. The absence might lead to two ending, weakened human being or strengthened one. Depending on how we look at things of course. I know this is easier said than done, but we are now too old to contemplate whether we can do it or we can't do it. A simple formula given by my God via below I guess is enough to convince. Unless if I don't believe in that which of course I don't dare to.

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an)

 Someone might question why we are always being tested. For those realistic, he/she will take that as a way from God to show His love and brave the test. For someone a little unclear to see things, he/she usually take that as a way to prove that God didn't love he/she and give up before even started the battle. Give up may come in form of anger,  frustration and negative thinking (which I usually inclined to, I hope no more Amin).

For the sin that we (I)  have done, it is too fortunate for me to keep reminded by Him with the tests  and give me chance for some room of improvement. I don't want to die hanyut and end up in the place that every Muslim don't want to be.

I am sorry for everything and good night :)